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What Can Wait—and What Cannot

"Let me just finish this." It is a reasonable thing to say. We have work to complete, messages to answer and responsibilities that do not disappear because someone wants our attention. Yet we can say those five words so often that they become the way we live. We...
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I’m Not Arguing. I’m Just Explaining Why I’m Right.

I recently came across a cocktail napkin bearing this wonderfully honest sentence: "I am not arguing. I am just explaining why I am right." It is funny because most of us recognize the character immediately. It may be a spouse, coworker or that relative who brings...
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Waiting for the Next Finish Line

Most of us have become remarkably skilled at postponing our lives. We tell ourselves that things will settle down after this week, after the project is finished, after the kids get through this phase, after the house is organized, after the vacation, after retirement,...
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Pulling Back the Reins on a Racing Mind

For a few glorious weeks each summer, Saratoga celebrates horses bred to run. Speed is admired. Racing is encouraged. Thousands arrive hoping to watch something move very, very fast. Unfortunately, some of our brains seem to believe they have also entered the races at...

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The Backfire: How Good Intentions Turn South!

The Backfire: How Good Intentions Turn South!

If you have been reading this column for a while, you will recognize this 'Cale Truism' that I have addressed from many angles: Your superpower as a parent resides in your mastery of how you use your attention. What you repeatedly focus upon with your attention will...

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