- Does it seem that your kids are constantly whining? No matter what they have?
- Are you constantly asking at your kids to stop whining?
- Have homework sessions turned into the daily whine?
- As your kids get older, are they whining more and doing less?
- Did they whine all through your spring vacation?
There is relief in sight! You can wipe out the whining and the complaining and negativity that come with it, in a matter of weeks.
You might say, is that true? And I’d say absolutely! But it’s only true, if you understand what you need to do, and are then able to execute it.
Three Steps to Wipe Out Whining
1. You Can’t Keep Investing in Whining and Expect it to Go Away!
What do I mean by invest? I mean that you can’t give energy and attention to whining and expect whining to go away.
If you end up continually reminding and arguing with the whiner and telling your kids that you’re not going to respond to that whining voice, you just get more whining voice.
There is no parenting solution that can help you out of this.
When your kids learn that the universe will invest in their whining, they simply end up doing more whining. It’s not that whining feels good to them, it’s just that their brains learn that this is what mom and dad keep investing in.
So, the first and most essential ingredient is to understand that you must stop investing in the whining, if you want the whining to go away.
2. Carefully Reserve Your Energy ONLY for Moments of Healthy Conversation.
If you’re not going to be investing in the whining moments, then it is essential to increase the amount of energy and attention that you invest in healthy moments. What do you mean by healthy moments? I mean moments when your children are asking about something in an age appropriate manner where there is no whine attached.
Healthy moments are conversations that do not have a complaint attached, and there is no whiny voice. Health moments include conversations that are positive and look at life from at optimistic perspective. Healthy moments include gratitude, curiosity, kindness and responsibility. Any of these moments…reserve your energy to attend to those. Not the whining moments.
It becomes essential to distinguish between whining and complaining comments, and to stop investing in those…versus healthy moments and start investing more in those.
3. “Old soldiers don’t die. They just fade away.”
This is an old saying, and the point of this is true for whining patterns of behavior. Whining doesn’t really die; it doesn’t just disappear instantly. It fades away gradually. So, if you begin a program of teaching your kids that YOU respond differently to whining and complaints, a gradual dying process begins. (Please review articles from the last two weeks to understand more fully what is happening here!)
Patience, patience, patience.
If you find yourself unable to walk away from whining, you’ll find that whining just continues. I encourage you to consider the amount of time that your children invest in whining. Much of this whining occurs in a world that is remarkably full of abundance, love, health, safety and opportunity. Yet, they whine.
So please consider how much energy that you’ve invested in trying to get it to go away. And perhaps consider this simple, three step plan. It will make your life, as well as theirs, better.