Greetings! It’s Dr. Cale again, we’re here talking about How to Build those
Habits of Success. How to get your kids on track for a great school year this year again whether it’s kindergarten, first grade, fifth grade, tenth year, tenth grade. So, how do we do this?
Yesterday, I talked about those habits and building a routine and a structure that’s considerable and predictable, and how important that is. Today, I’m going to talk about why it is that we have to begin right now not to take yesterday’s discussion put it into your mental memory bank and start talking to your husband or your wife about this and then you talk about it in a week later you’re talking about it.
Next thing you know it’s thanksgiving you say you know we really should sit down and take care of that routine and no today is about getting it started today. Right now taking action in a way where we take those simple ideas of what is that morning routine, what are the things we want the kids to do every day, and how do we do that in a way that makes life simple and I’m going to give you a pointer here that is enormously important.
I use it over and over again from dealing with the simplest daily routines with kids that are kind of easy and not that difficult to manage to the most oppositional strong-willed, difficult challenging a child who has ADHD and oppositional defiant child it doesn’t matter one of the secrets is to learn to use the leverage of making sure that you don’t allow the kids to get to the goodies until they take care of their work their responsibilities.
So, how does this work with those daily routines begin to think about your morning routine? For example, in a way where there are certain things that you want the kids to knock out first you’d like for them to get up perhaps get dressed make their bed for if they’re able to do that, or at least give it an effort go to the bathroom wash their face perhaps brush their teeth if they’re older they need to take a shower and so forth and you’d like for them to come down probably maybe have breakfast get their bag ready and then if everything was working well maybe they could have a few minutes to watch TV play a game with dad or mom watch a video get on the computer who knows but the secret is to make sure that there are no goodies available till after those core responsibilities those core pieces of the routine are done.
When you do that, you’re going to see that you start to set things up so that now life gets easier because you have a little leverage on your side. So, let’s take what we’ve talked about yesterday and what I just mentioned and think about how do you begin today to put this on paper how do we make sure that you take those daily routines and get it on a piece of paper so that it’s now in front of you and it’s in front of the kids so that they’ll know that this is the way it’s going to be everyday morning routine, afternoon routine, bedtime routine.
Three critical routines that you need to have mastered very simple hit pause on the video go grab a piece of paper think about what are those critical activities the ones that we want to do first second third fourth and then make sure you think about what are the goodies the toys the playthings that the kids would like to get into first but we’re not going to make those available until they take care of those core responsibilities.
I like to call this do your work then you play do your work then you play every single day do your work then you play. So I’m gonna I’m getting ahead of myself though a little bit because what I want you to do is get those activities down on paper and start to think in terms of those core responsibilities, those core routines, those activities that they have to do every morning, every afternoon, and every evening, and make sure that you put them on a piece of paper so that you can ever so that everybody can see it.
And for younger kids, you can even take a get your digital camera and take a picture of the kids when they’re brushing their teeth when they’re putting on their uh t-shirt when they’re putting on their socks when they are taking their plate to the dishwasher and then you can set up a big chart where you put all those things and not only do you write it out but you put a picture so that they can see it and they can see exactly what there is to do next.
So today, do it today make sure you’ve got that piece of paper out make sure you’ve written those things down make sure that you’re clear about what those core activities are going to be every single day what’s the work that’s going to be taken care of before they play that is your secret weapon it makes everything come together and I’m going to describe to you why it’s your secret weapon later on.
But for now, I just want you to get those activities on paper hear the core routines morning, afternoon, evening okay. I think that’s clear this is day number two I wish you luck make sure you stick to it get it on paper get it up somewhere where everybody can see it make sure it’s there by tomorrow morning please it’ll make life easier to make life simpler and if it’s not quite time for school yet you can still put it up so that everybody knows that this is what’s going to be happening next week everybody knows this is exactly the way it’s going to be and that mom’s serious dad’s serious about it and it’s no more talking about it these this is the morning structure afternoon structure evening structure.
This is Dr. Cale look forward to talking to you tomorrow and I’ve got another tip for you that’s going to help you make this year the best year ever and to help your kids thrive to take care of.