Here’s a recent article on resilience. I am a BIG fan. In general, we don’t give our children…or ourselves…enough credit for how resilient we really are. Once we settle in this truth, it becomes easier to have faith in our children and to encourage their capacity to get through difficult times…rather than trying to be the ‘fixer’ when difficult times appear. This is not easy. But the clear, confident parenting strategy of believing in your child’s ability to get through tough times…this ROCKS as a launchpad for resilience! Get more here, if interested: Building Resilience: Key Mistakes and Corrections
While it’s hard to watch kids – especially those with ADHD – struggle with failure and disappointment it doesn’t do them any good to take disappointment out of their lives. Walking with your kids through disappointment and perceived failures gives them life skills and a resilience that can’t be gained any other way. The skills and resilience will give them the tools they need to succeed against any odds and achieve their goals – like many great men and women before them.
- Both kids and adults need to actively cultivate grit and persistence in the face of disappointment and failure.
- Many famous successful people in science, politics and the arts only attained success after a long string of failures.
- The stages of grief — denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance — often also apply to failure as well.
“Once we allow ourselves to experience “failure,” our brains draw a blueprint for how to handle setbacks in the future, and more importantly: how to recover.” (Dr Cale here: The key of course, is to get through that failure and realize… ‘I am okay.” This is where you can be of great service to your children.)
What do we do that undermines our children’s success? There are a number of ways we can thwart their happiness and success…without knowing it. These mistakes destroy resilience. Read about it here: How We Unknowingly Thwart Our Children’s Success