While I often write about how to set your course for a more responsible, happy and successful life, it seems that perhaps I have been missing the mark. While some readers appear to seek change and growth, there is an expanding population who seem to be striving for the mediocre life. Today’s article is designed to help them hone their skills and master the tools for the most mediocre life possible. You may, or perhaps may not, want to share this with someone you know. For anyone seeking to rise to the top of the mediocre lifestyle, these tips are a must!

Five Fundamentals to Mastering Mediocrity

1. Always Find Excuses for Any Choice Others Dislike.

Criminals and chronically miserable folks always can always explain their poor behavior with an excuse. This is an essential life skill for mastering the mediocre. Take these folks as your role model.

Learn to have an excuse ever ready for any shortcoming or mistake. Better yet, try to explain how it wasn’t really a mistake. Never, of course, take responsibility regardless of how blatantly obvious it is that you, or someone is suffering, because of your stupidity. This would translate to a moment of taking responsibility, and this is alien to the mediocre lifestyle.

2. Spend Most of Life Complaining & Criticizing Others. Don’t Do Anything.

How to do this is simple? Complain, argue, put down, criticize, and speak very negatively about anything other than your choices. The cloud of words must be relentless, so few can see through this to what is really happening in your life. You must keep expending your energy into a world where the words keep flowing…but nothing changes. Live every day in a fantasy world, where you truly and deeply imagine that all this time and energy flowing ‘out there’ is meaningful. Whether it’s a friend, a teacher, a parent or sibling, just keep the complaints and focus ‘out there’ so there is no moment available to turn someone’s attention to your choices.

If you master this, you can spend years avoiding any focus on how your life is escaping you. You can even avoid considering the impact of your choices on your health, your happiness and your family. Don’t do anything that would resemble responsible action, of course. This would destroy the mediocre life.

3. Seek Superficial Attention and Pretend Your Life Is Always Good.

To keep this simple, simple pretend that your life is better than it is. Do this by only capturing the moments that you want others to see. And please, fake this to be the best possible moment.

Work hard to develop the mindset where you can think ahead and have the phone ready to capture moments that appear like they are simply the best possible experience anyone can have. Seek to daily ‘trump’ every friend you have…so they can sleep in envy of your pretend life. Make sure your smile hides that sense of ‘dullness” that inevitably flows from mediocrity.

4. Master Being the Victim!

This is grand master material here. If you have a job, grumble about the boss. If you don’t have a job, blame the economy. If work is busy, complain about a lack of time. If it’s slow, whine that it’s boring. If you get invited, snub your nose at the food. If you don’t get invited, blame the neighbor. You get the idea. No matter what, make sure others see how you have been done wrong.

The secret here is parlaying in our previous point, with a bit more focus on personal blame. So, you first complain, and then you blame. Warm up with a few complaints, and then shift into blame mode. Remember: You are never responsible for your happiness or your success. Someone else, or something else is always the cause of your struggles. This guarantees your position as the Grand Victim on the throne of mediocrity.

5. The Ultimate Secret: Never Examine the Consequences of Your Choices Objectively.

This is the crown jewel of the mediocre life. At its core, the key is the avoidance of responsibility. So never, under any circumstances, do you take responsibility for your choices. If you have been paying attention so far, you likely know how to do this. Blame, keep the complaints focused on others, always have an excuse. And do not relent to reality, even if it’s right in front of you. For example, if you are caught on video doing something stupid, just deny that it’s you. That’s right. Deny. Then blame someone else. (Remember: You must revert to be the victim here, rather than owning up to anything!)

If you are really a master, you can take this as far as you want. Comments like, ‘That’s not me’ or even ‘That’s not what really happened’ can be useful. ‘Someone set me up’ is also a good ploy here. Deny, project responsibility on someone else and then you instantly become the victim. Get it?

Now others might get exasperated with you because the evidence is right in front of you, but never mind that. That’s the goal! You suddenly have them confused, upset and frustrated…and guess who is in control? You are! You control their state of mind in that moment, and you are the King or Queen of Mediocrity. You win! They are frustrated with you. You have their attention. And yet you are unshaken in your mediocre life, free of taking any responsibility.