This combo is quite exhausting and frustrating. Once they begin to complain and whine about themselves, we (often…not always) fall into a trap. The trap is that we start to try to pull them out of it.When we start to see our children viewing the world in such a negative way, we start to try to help them…to pull them out of it…and to encourage them to view things differently. The harder we work at this…the more they seem to whine and complain.If not careful, this is the foundation for a very poor outlook on life, and such negative perspectives form the core of a more saddened outlook on life.Click Here
: Next, why this behavior gets stronger…not weaker with time.Parents may lecture them on how lucky they are and how grateful and appreciative they should feel. These lectures are repeated over and over. The kids roll their eyes. Parents may get frustrated and yell at the kids to stop complaining or send them to their rooms when they start whining. Does this work? Of course not. Words don’t teach children to stop whining and complaining.
If You Engage A Behavior, It Will Grow. This Is The Law.
If you allow yourself to be pulled into their whining and complaining, it will increase. In other words, if you get pulled into arguing, reminding, reprimanding, correcting or lecturing, you are engaging the very behavior you want to reduce. This approach won’t work. In fact, it can’t work. The whining and complaining MUST GET WORSE!So, it’s time to take another approach. You can turn things around faster than you think. Within weeks most of this whining and complaining can be history.As I walk you through this, keep in mind that the strategies for dealing with whining and complaining is covered thoroughly in the Wipe Out the Whining
audio program. This is a program that walks you through a very specific plan with a proven success record. You can be free of whining and complaining. More importantly, your kids can learn to focus their attention and their mental energy on the positive, rather than complaining and whining. But first, let me give you a sense of what this is about.Try the following approach. It’s the basis behind the powerful and successful Wipe Out the Whining
Wipe Out The Whining: The Basic Plan
1. Tell The Kids A Change Is Coming.
Alert them to the fact that:“Mom and dad have made a mistake. We have been responding to you when you act younger than your age. We have responded when you whine. We have responded when you complain. We have responded to you saying you are bored. That’s going to change.”
2. Stop Paying Attention To Whining And Complaining.
Walk away from the complainer and allow the whining to drone on and on. Don’t respond to any form of whining or complaining, for any reason. Be steadfast in your resolve to put your attention elsewhere.When your child says they’re bored, it would be okay to remind them once that it’s their job to find something to entertain themselves…it’s not your job. Note that you can say this because it’s very likely you spend an inordinate amount of time and energy making sure the kids have things to do. Once in a while, they NEED to learn how to entertain themselves. Regardless, the “I’m bored” gets no response from you. Got it?Now stick to it.
3. Ignore Any Requests That Stem From Complaining Or Whining.
When children are whining, it’s frequently because they want something different than what they’re getting. They want you to change your mind, or they want to do something they can’t do at this moment, or they want something they can’t have. Make sure they don’t get what they want. It’s as simple as that. Make sure they don’t get whatever they’re making a fuss about, because if they get it, they’ll learn that this behavior pattern works.When you first start ignoring them, the whining and complaining will probably get worse. Stick with it for a week or two, and you’ll be rewarded: The behavior will start to disappear. As soon as your children stop complaining, quickly reengage with them, without lecture or reminder. Pay attention to them any time they’re not complaining and whining. You can tell them in advance that you’re going to do this, but once you implement this approach it’s not necessary to remind them. Let your actions – not your words – do the teaching.That’s the basics and it will change things in your home. Try it and see. It will make a powerful difference because there’s more going on here than it appears.However, you may still have questions… like….
- What do you do instead of reacting?
- What do you teach instead?
- How do you coach your kids into using more effective strategies to get what they want?
- How can they learn to be more positive?
- What can you do to teach them to handle their negative, painful moments?
The answers to these questions and more are provided on the Wipe Out The Whining
audio program. You can order the CD, or download the program NOW! You can almost instantly have access to this powerful program. Want to learn more? – Click here