Parenting is not always easy and being able to let our children spread their wings, on their own, is key. There are two types of children, contingent and independent. Contingent children can not seem to function with out adult supervision or have a hard time staying focused on specific tasks. Independent children are completely opposite and tend to be good decision makers. As a parent, recognizing the do’s and don’ts will ultimately be our challenge in raising children and what to expect from them.
- A contingent child, even an older one, is hobbled in reaching independence, as they rely on others to incentivize their quest for achievement.
- Contingent children are often rewarded without basis and provided with minimal guidelines and limits.
- Contingent children are not the best decision-makers, as parents are inevitably usurping the child’s decision-making capacity, without any give and take.
“Contingent children are dependent on others for how they feel about themselves. Some parents want to foster this dependence. These parents act on their own needs for power and use control and coercion to ensure that they remain the dominant forces in their children’s lives.”