It’s likely you have read about coaching services. However, in case this topic is new to you…let me explain.
Coaching is a personal service, slightly different from psychotherapy or counseling. The focus in coaching is more goal directed, and the topics covered tend to be of a more educational nature, or more skills based. Unfortunately, many ‘coaches’ have taken a two weekend course, or have a certificate that has no basis in the types of skills that will help you out of a difficult situation.
Parent Coaching is specific to helping parents resolve behavioral struggles with their children. These parent-child struggles may range from the typical challenges of daily parenting life— such as morning routines, homework struggles or sibling bickering. However, more often parents call for Parent Coaching when faced with more demanding behaviors that push the limits of their parenting—including the strong-willed child, the picky eater, the angry, disrespectful child or teen, the defiant, oppositional son or daughter and even kids with constant Attention Deficit issues. This only scratches the surface of topics I help parents resolve…but I just want you to understand that almost any parent-child challenge can be dramatically improved in weeks…not months or years of therapy!
Over and over again, parents get success when coaching with me. And it’s actually not so much about me personally. It’s really about the tools I have gathered over the years, and the power of those tools to change behavior.
The mistake, and it’s a big one, is that too often we get caught up in the diagnosis of our child. This is sometimes necessary. However, when it comes to a parenting game plan, we need to focus on our tools…and the words, behavior and action that are within OUR CONTROL.
Fundamentally, we can’t control our children. If we could, I would have been out of business a long, long time ago.
However, we can control ourselves. We can control our home. We can control our words and actions.
When you work with me, I won’t do a lot of hand-holding. Sorry. That’s for those coaches who want to sign you up for the 12 month program. That’s what they do…hold your hand.
I don’t. Sorry.
Instead, we focus on action, and getting results.
The results we want are simple. We don’t want your defiant or challenging child to listen because they are afraid of you. Nope…doesn’t work this day and time. Old school.
New school: We want them to LEARN to listen to you because they realize something life changing…I will tell you more about this shortly. For now, understand this:
If you have serious or challenging behavioral issues in your home, PLAY THERAPY MAY NOT be the answer. It doesn’t really work, for these kinds of behavior. This is not just my opinion; the research has revealed this for many years.
It’s simple to understand. And it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why such therapy doesn’t work.
Your child has no motivation for therapy. Your child does not (with RARE exception) view their own behavior as a problem…they view you as the problem…or their sister/brother…or their teacher…or anyone/anything other than their own action. They do not want to change.
And change is hard…even if we do want to change.
Look, don’t take my word for it. Ask around…and find out who really has gotten success from play therapy. In most cases, it goes on for years…with little success. In the scientific literature, play therapy is not longer even reviewed because the results of treatment show such detrimental effects (see conclusions and literature reviews by Alan Kazdin, PhD, of Yale University).
There is not a huge leap of faith required. When you get the right parenting tools for the job, change happens. And …it happens quickly.
It doesn’t take long to get real results, when you are on the right path with your parenting. Over and over, with many child behavioral challenges, you will see exciting changes within a week. For some serious issues, it will take a couple weeks to really see positive movement. However….negative behavior will quickly fade, and more responsible, happy and well-behaved children are just around the corner.
Is it perfect in a week or two? Of course not. But once you begin to see how powerful your actions can really be, it’s quite rewarding to continue to practice using the tools I give you. It’s also easy to become committed to the coaching process, when your work and efforts bring about such rapid improvements.
If you work with me, as a Licensed Psychologist, you not only get the benefit of my coaching training, but you also get the benefit of my 25+ years of education and experience… in every coaching session. The toolbox I have available for you is much bigger than you can now realize…and the parenting tools I teach are much more precise than what you get from a book or general therapy.
And (yes… I know I am biased here), I don’t think you will find a parenting coach out there who has seen and helped as many families as I have over the years. Please understand, that most families work with me for 4 to 6 sessions. That means, in a full time practice, I work with over 300 families directly every year. Most therapist do not see 300 families in 10 years.
This is not because I dislike my clients. It’s because I am a bit obsessed with getting results.
And because families experience positive change and improvement quickly, there is no need to continue with coaching or therapy. For me as a therapist and coach, it allows me to work with many more families, and get much more experience that most psychologist or coaches.
The bottom line for you: More tools in my parenting toolbox to share with you. And a more precise understanding of how those parenting tools really work.
As a coaching client, you will get rapid results (because you will clearly understand where you power comes from as a parent—right now, you likely have little sense of this). In a short time, you can walk away with life-long tools for you and your family.
This is why most parents achieve success with 4 to 8 coaching sessions, when working with me. My obsession is with getting you to the success marker, as soon as possible, so you can go on with enjoying your life with your children. (I must admit…I giggle when I look at some of the other parent coaches, who promote year long coaching programs. This is an automatic sign of failure in my book…as such extended parent coaching shows me that the ‘coach’ has few tools in their toolbox
Parent coaching is conducted by phone, with sessions usually once per week. This is a remarkably convenient way to get relief from frustrating, exhausting and worrisome parenting problems. You will quickly learn life-changing skills that you cannot find in a book. Within weeks, you master strategies that give your children the gifts of responsibility and independence, and show them how to be happy again!
You will understand how to eliminate whining, complaining, and disrespect. Your children will learn to manage their routines with ease.
Life can be easier and you can rest with comfort as you see the results emerge in just weeks… not months or years.
You can receive coaching from Dr. Cale in the convenience of your home or office, as he has coached clients from San Diego, to Toledo, to New York to Singapore.
“… what I have now, all boasting aside, is a perfectly behaved child. When I ask my child to do something, I only have to ask him one time before he jumps to help me with spring in his step and a smile on his face. At dinner and bedtimes, I have an ally in my child who takes responsibility of his own personal routines without my having to cue him. In the morning, my child wakes with his own alarm clock that he set the night before and greets me happy to be starting a new day. Thanks to Dr. Cale’s intervention, I have fallen in love with my child even more…”
Maria Papa, age 42, Single Mom
When parents work with Dr. Cale as a coach, he works with them on both personal and family goals. You get his individual professional guidance with years of clinical experience, his relentless need to hold you accountable to your goals, and his commitment to make certain you get results.
If you have a parenting problem, this is the most powerful way to start getting results… even with the most difficult and challenging behavioral concerns.
Coaching is also a remarkably powerful tool for transforming a “so-so” home situation into one where the children are responsible for their daily work, accountable for their own success and more independent with each passing day. You learn the tools that guarantee your children will drop those unhealthy tendencies and adopt the habits that ensure success.
“Communication has increased between family members. The children have begun to take personal accountability for their homework, chores and each other.”
“My home has become a wonderful place to be at the end of a hard day at work. Life is sweet all the way around. It’s amazing how simple the concepts are and it works! My family is living proof.”
Heather Sears, Mother of 2, Clearwater, Florida
As you consider coaching, please keep in mind that the process is highly outcome-driven. By this, I mean that our focus is on you getting what you want. At the beginning of our work together, we will work to develop specific goals.
In each session, we will develop a clear, practical plan for you to put to use each week. My job is to hold you accountable to your goals and to the commitments that you have made to reach your goals.
Greetings! In working as your coach, my focus is on helping your family to live with greater ease and happiness. I am interested in teaching you how to reduce the stress in your home by mastering the tools in your parenting toolbox.”
“I coach you to use parenting strategies that really work. We examine what old parental mindsets might undermine your success. We then set up a clear plan to address each and every concern.”
“You can teach your children the habits of success. When children master those habits, your life gets easier…they become more responsible…and they find that life treats them better.”
“My commitment is to your success. If you want to see a change, please consider giving your family this gift for a brighter, more successful future.”
Randy L. Cale, PhD, Licensed Psychologist
Kate S. , mother and Licensed Social Worker, Salt Lake City, Utah
If you want to learn more about coaching, and how you can work with me – to not only enhance your skills as a parent, but also to expand the joy and pleasure that you experience in your life – consider this:
Mark and Pauline, Parents of two, Albany, New York
Please click here if you would like specific details on coaching, and review the Parent Coaching Agreement. After doing so, if you would like to set up an initial series of parent coaching sessions, you can contact me through my Office Assistant, who will schedule our appointments. You can also call our offices with any questions, at 518-383-0600.
Thanks, and I look forward to working with you!
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