TerrificParenting.com

[tora-lynn]

We use and believe in Dr. Cale’s techniques. They work! Be warned, however, that law guardians don’t always agree. My husband and I were just told by a law guardian and the Supreme Court of NYS that work then play, structure and routines are not acceptable parenting techniques if the children feel they are being made to study more than they want to or if they feel that they don’t get to have enough fun every day. If you only let your kids go just so far in dressing with the styles, drawing the line at “gangsta” style, and your child complains about that, you could lose custody! To hell with the fact that the kid’s grades may go from 70s to 90s. Forget the fact that he completes all homework for the first time in his life, makes the honor roll every quarter, is calm, happy and normal at home. If your ex wants your kids and you use these techniques, you, too, could lose your kids. They view “work then play” as too authoritative, getting up at the same time for school every morning and having to do “things at certain times of the day" (like transition time at night after brushing teeth, etc., having breakfast, shower and straighten room before playing as “rigid.” Believe me, we are not at all extreme—we give him more second chances and let him slide probably more than we should, but we are now viewed as militaristic and believed to have caused this child's supposed misery. The boy has always seemed to be happy here....there is lots of laughing, affection and playing among the three of us. The mother and child lied about our family life and without so much as a hearing on the matter, the boy was sent to his mother's for a "trial" period. We know full well what that means--she'd have to molest the kid for the judge to uproot him again in 3 months. It comes down to doing what your kids want or what you know to be best for him/her. We did what we knew was best, indeed what we proved was best, and the kid ended up back with a parent who has no rules, structure or discipline. We would not have changed anything we’ve done, but I thought y’all might want to be warned.