Parenting Problems

Separation and Divorce

Terrific Parenting After Divorce

Attention: Divorcing Parents

“Discover How Divorce Will Affect You And Your Children, And What You Can Do To Protect Your Children!”

terrific-parenting-through-divorce2

“Do You Find Yourself Asking, ‘How Can I Protect My Children So They Will Not Be Harmed, Hurt And Emotionally
Damaged For Life?'”

“If So…Then This Manual Will Eliminate Your Fears And Give You The Tools To Protect Your Child’s Self-Esteem, And Help Them Cope With The Threats Of
Separation And Divorce?”

Dear Separating or Divorcing Parent,

Let’s cut through the bull… these are scary times. The fear, and uncertainty can be overwhelming. You hear so much about the devastating impact of divorce that it can keep you awake at night.

Having studied the research, and having taught separating parents how to protect their children for over 20 years, there are several “bottom line” facts that you must understand. Read the rest of this page, and you will begin to understand those facts and why it is absolutely critical that you educate yourself first… before the damage is done… not later.

If you are deeply concerned about how to protect your children, make wise decisions, and how to keep your stress from becoming their burden… then this is going to be the most important message you read today. Here’s why:

You Have The Ability To Make A Difference
Not 5 Years From Now… But Today!

I want to give you both a warning, and a reason to have hope. I have read most of the websites that have some popularity when searching for information on the effects of divorce on children. They are all focused on the early conclusions from the 1980’s, where the studies showed devastating effects from divorce.

child_caught_in_divorceThese early studies were limited in several ways, but the primary problem was that all families were viewed as equal. Thus, very broad generalizations were made that have since proven to be inaccurate.

You see article after article that says that divorce is “like the death of a parent.” Well, that’s just not true for most children going through divorce, WHEN parents handle the separation and divorce with integrity and wisdom.

In fact, we see that divorce is quite devastating when parents handle things poorly, and when children are already at risk (this is fully explained in the Terrific Parenting Through Divorce Manual).

When parents handle things well, divorce seems to be more like breaking a bone… perhaps. NOW NONE OF US WANT THAT. I do not want to minimize the importance of divorce.

It’s just that a broken bone, properly cared for, actually hurts for a while, but as it heals…it becomes stronger than the original bone.

Now that metaphor is a more accurate representation. Handled well, your children can become stronger. You don’t seek divorce. None of us do. It’s just that when divorce is inevitable, our choices make a huge difference.

divorced-mother-with-kidsYour Power To Make A Difference Can Affect
Their Friendships, Their Academic Work, And Their Relationships With You…
For The Rest Of Their Life

My new comprehensive ebook, called, Terrific Parenting Through Divorce covers nearly everything you need to know about the challenges and demands of separation and divorce… including the choices and decisions that threaten your child’s emotional stability, and the relationship your children have with you (and with their other parent).

You will also learn how to speak with honesty, without putting down the other parent, how to discuss the divorce so that no one gets hurt, and how to avoid those dreaded choices that could permanently damage your children!

Just Imagine…

  • Being able to get through the absolute toughest moments going to bed every night confident that your children will be safe and protected… How comforting would that be?
  • Or what if you could take every breath with the certainty that your relationship with your children is secure, and that you have done everything humanly possible to protect their relationship with their other parent?
  • No fears of the divorce destroying your children because you are aware of the truly harmful choices that compromise their future.
  • Maybe even… you could breath easily as you actually see your children coping well BECAUSE you made the right choices!. How would that feel if you could do this?
  • Being able to sit in your backyard, watching the kids play, as you discuss the divorce 5 years from now with friends and family, relaxed and at peace with your choices…. It truly is possible, but you need to know how.

That’s what this thorough, comprehensive new e-book could help you to do.

Terrific Parenting Through Divorce Is Not Like Any Other Book Or Ebook You Will Find On Separation And Divorce

This Is The Most Advanced Manual For Protecting Your Children From The Burdens Of Divorce That You Will Find

But that’s only the beginning… Why?

Simply, every section in the book is there because “you asked for it.” Well, not “you” really. But from real live questions, from divorcing parents. Questions from parents who were struggling with the challenges and demands of separation and divorce.

divorced-dad-with-happy-kidThey were worried about their children, their choices and how to create stability for their children.  They asked how to protect their children, and keep strong relationships for both parents…

These parents also asked how to deal with their own emotions, and keep the children away from negative adult comments and emotions.

You will also learn how to be honest with your children without putting down the other parent, how to discuss the divorce so that no one gets hurt, and how to avoid those major mistakes that could permanently damage your children!.

Is Your Child At Risk?

Find Out If Your Child Urgently Needs You To Read This Book!

Has your family experienced any of these 8 critical situations?

  • You have noticed changes in your child, as they seem more worried or concerned, want to stay close and are trying to protect mom or dad.
  • You (or your spouse) have difficulty controlling emotional reactions to the things the other parent does or says, and your children have been exposed to parental conflict.
  • You often feel that the separation or divorce is taking much of your emotional energy that you know your children really need, but you just can’t give it fully.
  • Your worry about how to discipline, and whether to soften your parenting style absorbs attention and worry, and you notice your children taking advantage of soft limits.
  • You feel like you are in some kind of competition for the best parent in the home award, and don’t even want to be in the silly game.
  • There are many unanswered questions that your children are asking, uncertainty is present, and you feel the effect of it… and your children feel the effect of it.
  • Way too much of your time and energy is spent focused on events that are out of your control, and often in the future… but this leaves you exhausted and afraid.
  • Your children…seem less confident, and you worry about the divorce robbing your child of self-esteem.

Even One Of The Above Situations Can Be
Emotionally Harmful To Your Child

If one parent can’t control his or her reactions towards the other parent and to the new situations that result due to the separation or divorce, the child automatically becomes the unintentional victim of added stress and anxiety. Children are smart learners and they sense when their parents are sad or in trouble, and to top it off, they not only worry about it but tend to think that they are the cause of their parent’s pain.

happy_mother_with_daughterSo here’s the tough part: If it’s not clear already, you first have to manage your own emotions, and get that out of the way of your judgment in parenting and co-parenting.  If we don’t address this, we just can’t see the damage of our own self-absorbed decisions, and how they can bring about lifelong challenges that aren’t necessary.

Next, if you are like many divorcing parents, you need to learn to exactly what to do, what to say and when to do it…in order to protect your children from the potentially disastrous effects of divorce.

The Reality of Divorce is that Your Children Need You to Co-Parent Better than You ‘Parented’ When You Work Together

And if that isn’t enough, you have to co-parent better NOW… during and after the divorce… than you did while together.  This means discussions about schedules, rules, shared responsibilities and working together (when possible and necessary) on consequences and critical teaching moments.

As you go through the co-parenting struggles (trying to do the right thing), differences arise in opinions over parenting issues.  Significant differences become huge obstacles at times, to peace. How do you resolve those differences?  You need a definitive, tested and proven guide, such as the Terrific Parenting Through Divorce E-book, so you don’t have re-design the wheel every time you sit down to have a discussion.  Many people have been down this path, and we know what decisions are common tendencies…and what decisions are common mistakes that have devastating consequences for children and families.  You can avoid those common mistakes by mastering the information in this book.

divorced-mom-raising-happy-kidsFinally, any weaknesses in your general parenting approach will become amplified and now reveal itself (just as the weak link in the chain is the first to bend under stress).   So it often becomes necessary to add to your parenting toolbox a better understanding of how to shape and nurture behavior.

You get answers to all of these questions…again…because “you” asked for it.  (I have worked with thousands of parents both in my office, and in workshop settings.  However, for this project, I included additional questions by setting up a simple webpage, and people like you visited it and left me their most pressing questions on the challenges and demands of separation and divorce.)

So, Terrific Parenting Through Divorce is the answer for all of those questions!

Which means no fluff. Just the real answers you want to know. You’ll discover all types of exciting tips.

Here’s a sneak peak at what you’ll discover in “Terrific Parenting Through Divorce”:

  • How to help your kids cope emotionally and psychologically with a separation or divorce.
  • 3 simple ways to provide bullet-proof protection for your children from the dangers of divorce.
  • The little-known way to protect a child’s self esteem, even from negative comments by the other parent or other family members.
  • 5 proven steps to keeping your children’s lives stable, despite changing circumstances…
  • 2 simple keys to make sure you get stronger with each passing day!
  • AMAZING! Discover in a matter of minutes how to deal with your own anger and hurt, so that your children do not have to cope with their emotions and yours!
  • 4 proven strategies for keeping your relationship with the children strong and healthy, despite put-downs or negativity from others.
  • 7 tips and tricks for introducing new partners, and how to make your kids understand that mommy/daddy needs to be happy… and that dating is one way to figure out who is right!
  • A dirt-cheap way to create relationship building “play-dates” for the kids, so that you can stretch your new budget and still make sure the kids enjoy their time with you.
  • A free and easy way to handle your son or daughter’s anger or disrespect, even if it’s due mainly to the poisonous, negative comments from others.
  • Have you been looking for this psychological secret? Discover how to help your children understand the reasons for the divorce, and the difference between mom and dad without sounding negative about the other parent.
  • How to keep from feeling so much of your children’s emotional pain that you fail to maintain consistency in discipline!
  • REVEALED! The hidden truth behind the devastating fear that your children will be destroyed by the divorce.  Your secret weapon for making your children stronger, building their self-esteem in spite of the divorce and protecting them from adult opinions.

And that’s just a fraction of what you’ll find out in Terrific Parenting Through Divorce That’s why you should own this book today (in fact, you can be reading in as little as 5 minutes from now!).

Terrific Parenting Through Divorce Package Today $170.95 $37

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All Major Credit Cards, Paypal and Online Checks Are Accepted.

(All you need is a credit card, no special internet accounts or anything like that. And it’s totally secure. Your credit card data is passed directly to the bank and no one but the bank has access to your sensitive information.)

What’s A Resource Like This Worth?

dr_cale_parents_pschologistIf you were to consult with me to get this information directly, it would take at least 4 private sessions of individual consultations, at a cost of $750.00(I should know, that’s what clients just paid me this week!).

Hi, I am Dr Randy Cale.  In my more than twenty years in working with parents, I’ve worked as a family therapist, child psychologists and court psychologist (conducting custody evaluations for literally thousands of families).  In those early days of custody evaluations, I sat with parents who were clearly worried, afraid, and overwhelmed with the situation that most did not want… at least for their children.  Mixed with their fear and overwhelm was confusion, anger, and frustration.  Often in extreme distress, many would be crying before they ever said a word.

All of these emotions are understandable.  I get it.  You likely get it.  It’s often unbearably tough getting through these times for us as adults, and we know, in our hearts, that our children suffer when we are in such distress.

Click the video below to watch interview of Dr Cale talking
on Separation and Divorce

If that isn’t enough, we have solid research that shows that our parenting judgment gets compromised when we are in such distress.  We might pretend to be superwoman or superman to our kids, but in the middle of this…we don’t feel it!  Some the many daily things we used to take for granted…just aren’t so easy to do.  We don’t have the same energy.  We don’t have the same clarity of thinking.  We don’t have the same emotional strength.  (You don’t really need an expert psychologist to tell you that… right?)

As a Licensed Psychologist working with divorcing families, some in the court system and some making their way through without litigation, I spoke to parents like you… and to their children.  I sat with them through tears of guilt, sadness, anger, frustration and confusion.  Over and over, I could see the mistakes that parents, at times, just couldn’t see.  Many parents where blinded to the impact of their decisions.  Others were just lost, and had that familiar… deer-in-the-headlight look… as they struggled to just get through each day.  Others were more aware of their predicament, and described being like a ship lost at sea.  In the midst of this, many even asked, “Why don’t they have a divorce manual for parents?  I could really use the help.”

happy_dad_with_sonTerrific Parenting Through Divorce Was Created To Teach Parents How To Protect Their Children Even When Going Through Struggles
Of A Custody Battle

This is when Terrific Parenting Through Divorce had it’s beginning.  I truly felt I had to make a difference.  I reached out to the courts in New York, to attorneys, judges and to other psychologists and sought input about this program.  In collaboration with other psychologist and attorneys, I developed a program to help divorcing parents.  As these materials have improved, I have taught these lessons to parents now for over 20 years.  I have seen every type of family, every type of anger and dysfunction, every type of child dilemma, and every type of parenting mistake.  I have also seen remarkable strength, courage and wisdom, and am grateful for these many years of experience.

It is with this experience, and these many hours of sitting with families and teaching parents how to make a positive difference… that I developed this program:  Terrific Parenting Through Divorce:  Keeping Kids First!  The book title reflects what the program is about… teaching parents how to do a terrific job despite all of the many challenges we face…day to day.  It’s a true parenting manual for getting through separation and divorce!  The “Keeping Kids First” subtitle is there to remind all of us of the importance of making decisions that hold the value… “how will this decision affect the kids?”… as a constant reminder of a compass that keeps us on track.

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You won’t find information like this on the Internet (except here)!  Particularly laser-guided accurate guidance like this -SPECIFICALLY for the challenges and demands families going through separation and divorce.

Included is professionally developed instruction with years of clinical experience and research.  Yet, the down to earth step-by-step guidelines are designed for you to read today, and use today.

divorced-mom-with-happy-daughterThis will give you help with  decisions on custody, and how to speak to your children.  The Guide also helps you avoid decisions that threaten your own emotional stability, and the future of your children. You will also learn the steps that protect the relationship your children have with you and with their other parent. You will also learn how to be honest without putting down the other parent, how to discuss the divorce so that no one gets hurt, and how to avoid those dreaded choices that could permanently damage your children!. This isn’t some boiler-plate collection of answers, but rather a carefully developed step-by-step guide that gets you through every question you may have.

Everything is explained in PLAIN English… none of that psycho-babble many psychologist are known for. Which means it’s dead-easy to read and understand. And it’s logically laid out.

6 Facts You Must Know
About Children and Divorce

1. Handled poorly by parents, divorce can be the source of lifelong academic struggles, endless emotional challenges, ugly relationships with family, and a future riddled with confusion and anger.
2. Contrary to popular opinion, your relationship with your children does not have to suffer… regardless of how your ex handles things!
3. Children of divorce have the innate capacity to get emotionally stronger, build patterns of extraordinary happiness, and find their new family structure to be a source of ease and security… if parents invest in a parenting toolbox equipped with the critical tools needed to get kids through this without lifelong scars.
4. Handled poorly by parents, divorce can be the source of lifelong academic struggles, endless emotional challenges, ugly relationships with family, and a future riddled with confusion and anger.
5. “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!”  This wisdom will never be more true for your children than right NOW!  Years of anger, countless sleepless nights and limitless therapy sessions can be avoided by taking the right parenting action as soon as possible, and that likely begins with making changes today.
6. Most parents waste their children’s future happiness and emotional security with years of day after day complaining, blaming and getting lost in the turmoil, legal battles, and fears of family failure and financial.  They expend their resources and energy in worries, battles and struggles that are outside their control… and fail to focus on what is within their control.

And don’t worry, if for any reason you’re not happy with the content, you have a complete guarantee to protect your investment.

clean_rooms_guarantee

That’s about as fair as it gets, don’t you agree? But, remember… there is more!

Well let me tell you what I’ll also do to make this the best investment you ever make. I’m going to throw in some free bonuses that are literally worth more in money terms than my e-book itself! I want you to invest in this life changing ebook, and I am giving away over $100 worth of free bonuses. Simply grab your copy of Terrific Parenting Through Divorce right now, and here’s what I’ll throw in:

Here’s what included in the Terrific Parenting Through Divorce Package

Which is why Terrific Parenting Through Divorce is such a bargain at  $47.00  $37.00. (And you haven’t even seen the additional free bonuses on Building Your Child’s Confidence ($47.00 value), The Reality of Divorce: Current Research Conclusions ($29.00 value) and the Divorce Guide ($37.00 value)… all included when you try out my offer to you.)

Here’s The Entire Package

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That’s right, for JUST A FRACTION of what it’s really worth or what it cost me to research, study and organize these topics. It’s also a fraction of what it would cost if you purchased my time to get this same information directly.  Why would I make it so affordable? Simply because my costs to deliver it to you are so low.

This is an electronic book (e-book) that can be downloaded to your computer in a flash. Which means you can be reading it and discovering all these amazing secrets in as little as 5 minutes from now.  You can have answers that will help your children tonight!

So I figure I’ll be able to offer this fantastic resource of information (which if you follow the tips contained in its pages could really give you some amazing benefits) to more people. And make my investment back over time.

No matter what however, it’s a bargain for you. And yes, I lost money on my previous offer with this product, selling it in a different manner, so I had to raise the price. And I hope this offer works, so that I can keep this available for parents like you.  (In my last offer, I lost $1,291.38 in just a matter of weeks, so I am attempting a different offer.)

Why is this a bargain?

  • You couldn’t buy this much clinical expertise for this price.
  • You couldn’t complete the research for these findings in less than 35 hours of time.
  • You still wouldn’t have 20 years of clinical experience to help you understand the results, and to create the recommendations that will save you and your children from needless struggle.

Conclusion: $37.00 is a drop in the ocean compared to what you learn with these secrets.

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  • INSTANT DOWNLOAD

Terrific Parenting Through Divorce Step by Step Guide ($47 value)

terrific-parenting-through-divorce2The Terrific Parenting Through Divorce Guide is the only parenting manual of its type. This book was created with questions from parents just like you.

The insights from Dr. Cale are built upon over 20 years of experiences and working with divorcing families. You will receive easy to follow instructions for:

  • Ways to talk to your children about divorce
  • Key lessons for preventing emotional trauma
  • Guidelines for beginning a co-parenting plan
  • Essential considerations for custodial arrangements
  • Specific ways to protect your children and keep them out in the middle
  • And much much more!
  • INSTANT DOWNLOAD

FREE BONUS #1: “The Confident Child” ($47 value)

the-confident-child-ebook-coverThis amazing bonus is all about building unstoppable child confidence and self-esteem.

You’ll discover:

  • How to AVOID the key mistakes that destroy your child’s self-esteem, and makes your child susceptible to the negative influences of others!
  • How to use your energy and attention to offset the negative, self-defeating thoughts that squash child confidence.
  • How to use every situation as an opportunity to develop your child’s sense of self-confidence, and how to give them the tools to take their confidence into every environment.

Not bad, right? But that’s not all you get! Because I’m also throwing in:

  • INSTANT DOWNLOAD

FREE BONUS #2: “Dr. Cale’s Comprehensive Research Summary On Separation and Divorce” ($29.95 value)

research-guide-on-separation-and-divorceAre you beginning to see how valuable this package is? With this bonus you’ll know the essentials about divorce, the effects upon children, and the factors that undermine your child’s future and their happiness..

Here’s what is revealed:

  • How to draw deep personal comfort from a more precise understanding of what the research has found, and how you will be able to use this to futher make healthy choices for your family.
  • How to add stability to your children’s lives, by eliminating harmful choices and staying focused on events you do control… rather than getting caught in the actions and behaviors of your ex…that you can’t control!
  • How to what WILL HAPPEN IF you make poor choices, and why it makes sense to do everything humanly possible to avoid those self-esteem robbing possibilities.

Imagine how you’d feel if you knew these things! YOURS FREE when you order Terrific Parenting Through Divorce. You are reading this, aren’t you?

circle-of-divorce-research-guide-coverWell the good news is, that’s still not all. Because I have another gift for you.

  • INSTANT DOWNLOAD

FREE BONUS #3: “The Circle of Divorce” ($47 value)

You don’t know it yet but, at the end of this bonus you’ll know everything about how children experience divorce, and the small things that really steal their attention and their peace of mind…

Here’s a short list of what this amazing bonus contains:

  • How to what exact words and comments help to make the separation or divorce more comfortable for your child, and what words do the opposite!
  • How to talk without intense emotions that scare your kids.
  • How to why it’s important to remember that this is a lifetime decision, and your wise choices must continue for years to come. It’s not over when you sign the papers!

Phew… that’s some list of FREE Gifts, right?
A total of $170.95 in bonuses

They’re each worth every cent. And… they’re yours FREE. Congratulations!

But I don’t know how long I’ll keep these bonuses up here. It’s part of a marketing test I’m doing. They’re worth more than the cost of the Terrific Parenting Through Divorce guide, and yet, I want this to be an irresistible solution that brings you remarkable value for your investment.

While it would be unfair for me to simply tell you that this is a remarkable value, you don’t have to take my word for it.  Listen to what people just like you have to say about it:

“We can learn these tools that get us through divorce. We can really change the quality of life our kids experience while separating and divorcing. “I know. I have been there. I have used these tools, and know that my attitude, my strategies, and my parenting skills all improved… and so did my children… even as we struggled, cried, and worked our way through the divorce.” Get this manual. Read it. Learn it. Practice it every day… you will make a difference for your children.”

Cynthia, divorced mother of 2

“I thought I should be able to handle all this. I think we all do. But it’s just too much happening at one time. I was overwhelmed. “I don’t think I would have made it through without Dr Cale’s Terrific Parenting Through Divorce book. He answered every question I had with practical ideas that I could understand, and the program didn’t waste my time with a lot of theory. I needed help and guidance, and I found it. “I tell everyone I know who is going through divorce, “Buy the Terrific Parenting Through Divorce book by Dr Cale. It will save your sanity. It will save your children. You will find relief and answers within the first five minutes of reading the first chapter. It’s that good. It’s that important to parents.”

Tara S., mother of 3 boys
Mesa, Arizona

“I wrote to Dr Cale about my family last month before reading the Terrific Parenting Through Divorce guide. I asked him, “How do I handle the separation process with my children, and how do I make them feel secure with me and their father? How can I make them understand that is not their fault? “The biggest mistake that I am fearing is taking them the opportunity of having a family that they had until last year even though when we all were together their father and I were always unhappy, always going everywhere by myself with the children, trying to make him change the way he was thinking or doing things, asking him to drink on weekends and so on…. until I couldn’t take it anymore, I am afraid that my children will blame me for the divorce.”

[23 days later…] “Now that I have read the Terrific Parenting Through Divorce guide, my fears are gone! I know the kids will be protected from the decisions I have made.  My questions about custody are answered, and I know I can keep them on track.  And the results show!

“We are in separate homes, the kids have adjusted well…and even though it’s far from perfect… I can see it getting better week by week… and I thank Dr Cale for giving me the guidance and direction to stay on track! At the moment, in my life there are many negative opinions that try to pull me into the anger and reactive mode…but now I have the drive to stay focused on protecting the children (and myself) from negativity. Get this manual, and your children will thank you.”

Gena, mother of three
Los Angeles

As they say, the proof is in the pudding. And these people are satisfied for good reason: Real information that makes life better. Real results. Real help!

You can’t leave this page empty handed, can you?

For a mere $37.00, you’re getting the answers you need… PLUS MORE. Now, you can only get this product from me. It’s not available in libraries or anywhere else on the net. Just imagine being able to get these answers downloaded to you right away.  And with absolutely NO RISK with my unconditional money back guarantee!

BC

Yes!

Dr. Cale, I’m Ready For Terrific Parenting Through Divorce

terrific-parenting-through-divorce
  • I understand that if I use your professional, time proven step-by-step action plan, I will have a strategy for parenting through divorce
  • I understand that for only $37 I will be able to download immediately your life changing action plan that will teach me parenting through divorce
  • I also understand I am backed by 365-day, 100% NO RISK GUARANTEE.

I also understand this package includes:

INSTANT DOWNLOAD Terrific Parenting Through Divorce Guide
($47.00 value)
INSTANT DOWNLOAD The Confident Child ($47.00 value)
INSTANT DOWNLOAD Dr. Cale’s Comprehensive Research Summary On Separation and Divorce ($29.95 value)
INSTANT DOWNLOAD The Circle of Divorce ($47.00 value)

‘Terrific Parenting Through Divorce’ Guide
and Free Bonuses for $170.95

$37

Just click here to order now using our secure serverorder_btnSS

Wishing you great success.

Warmly,

calesig2

Randy L. Cale, PhD
Licensed Psychologist

P.S. Don’t forget, you’re getting $170.95 worth of bonuses for just a fraction of that price. Everything to get you started in solving the challenges and demands of separation and divorce… including those critical custody decisions and co-parenting decisions.

P.S.S: While just one critical mistake could undermine years of great parenting, please don’t make leaving this page one of them!  Invest here now!

P.S.S.S: My grandfather had a favorite saying, “You get what you pay for.”  And on the Internet, this is more true than ever.  There is lots of supposed ‘free’ information available.  While some of it has value, would you really want to trust your child’s future happiness and success to the chance you may stumble upon the right ‘free’ or ‘cheap’ advice.  I wouldn’t want you to take that chance… that’s why I have such faith in this guidebook, and in the supporting bonuses.  Try it out, and it doesn’t work for you…just send me an email and let me know.  I don’t think that will happen, because so many people have shown such satisfaction that I am willing to take the chance…

And remember… if you ask for a refund…you keep these materials as my gift to you.  Free!  (If you plan to purchase just to ask for your money back, please go ahead and order anyway.  After reading the Terrific Parenting Through Divorce guide, I don’t believe you will consider emailing me.  All it takes is one moment where you see the relief in your child’s eyes… and you will know that it was worth much more than  $37.00)

It’s Time Now To Protect Your Children!

Terrific Parenting Through Divorce Package Today $170.95 $37

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Divorce Concerns

Parenting After Separation & Divorce Prt 1

child_caught_in_divorceFor parents who are divorced, cure the challenges of parenting after divorce are immense. As a co-developer and presenter of the Kids First After Divorce Program for over ten years, I am acutely aware of the challenges that separated and divorced parents experience. I have guided mothers and fathers through this difficult process, and have helped them to develop a path for parenting that protects their children.

In negotiating the struggles of co-parenting, many parents often remark, “We now have to communicate and co-parent as divorced parents, when we couldn’t do this as parents living together in the same house. You’re asking us to do something as divorced parents, that we failed at while married. That’s going to be very tough.” That comment captures a lot. Because it speaks to the essential truth and demands that you experience as divorced parents.

Often while married, parents struggle with the challenges of parenting. They question each other’s judgments, argue over discipline, and at times, undermine each other’s authority with the children.  This may be partially the actual cause behind a separation or divorce.

However, with a history of not ‘being on the same page’ with your parenting, divorce creates an even bigger challenge.  If you are now going to improve your parenting as separated or divorced parents, you not only are tackling the challenge of learning effective parenting strategies, but you want to do this in a way that both parents are on the “same page.”

bigstock_Divorce_2287253-300x218And, yet, this is often not the case.  Many parents go through the divorce process, NEVER able to reach a practical way of working together for the kids.

Many parents struggle with their own anger, hurt, frustration, rage, bitterness, and guilt, and are not able to set their feelings aside long enough to co-parent wisely.

This often blinds us, if we are not careful.  We can end up getting caught in the moment of anger or frustration, and our children get caught in the middle.  While the phrase is over-used to the point that it loses meaning sometimes, the truth is that children really are “Caught In The Middle” and emotionally pulled in pieces by angry or battling parents.

The real damage becomes magnified if our emotions of fear, frustration and anger also keep us from taking ownership of our own mistakes.  It’s easy to point the finger, of course, and notice the mistakes of your ex-partner.  In this mode, we focus blame and responsibility on the “other parent” and accept little responsibility for their our choices along the way.

Amidst the overwhelming emotions of a separation and divorce, this is understandable. Yet, what our children need is for us to learn to co-parent effectively.

This is not to say that this is easy. It is not.  Work and effort is required.  Taking ownership of your own strengths and your weaknesses is also necessary.

The Truth Is That Children Can Still Thrive…IF Mom and Dad Get It Right

It is critical to say what is true, however. And the truth is this: Your children can thrive following a divorce. However, the potential for them to thrive is directly related to how effectively you and your ex-partner co-parent.

little_girl_affected_by_divorceIf you and your ex are able to communicate regarding issues that concern the children and develop an effective set of strategies for raising healthy, happy, and motivated children, your children will likely adjust adequately to a separation or divorce.

There are other factors that enter into the reality of your child’s adjustment to divorce.  Some children are more resilient, even if you make mistakes.  Some children are already at high risk, and are much more vulnerable.   However, whatever has happened in the past, we can conclude one very important truth:  You can’t change it.  It’s done.

So that means, it’s healthy, functional and useful to focus now on what is within your control…and abandon investing your life energy into any thought, or any action, or anything…that is not within your control.  Those will WASTE your life, and start you down the path of ignoring the parts that you can control.  Many co-parenting programs, including my Terrific Parenting After Divorce Program, show you how to focus on the parts that do make a difference for you and your children, as well as give you the practical tools of effective co-parenting.

On the other hand, if you and your ex hold on to bitterness, anger and hostility, and the children are caught in between, they may experience any of the following stressors:

  • Relaying messages – pleasant and unpleasant – to the other parent.
  • Overhearing negative comments about a parent or relative they love.
  • Listening to their father or mother explode over a missing sock or a late payment.
  • Experiencing emotional distance as parents struggle with sadness or anger.
  • Being exposed to adult material about courts, attorneys, and judges.
  • Having their time unnecessarily limited with those they love out of parental greed or anger.
  • Living in fear over explosive outbursts during exchanges or phone calls.
  • Learning to manipulate parents by giving parents the information that parents want to hear.
  • Experiencing different consequences for the same behavior at each home.
  • Having parental authority undermined by the other parent second-guessing parental actions.
  • Begin judging parents too early, as they are asked questions about the other parent’s behaviors and actions.
  • Find themselves used as investigators answering questions about boyfriends and girlfriends.
  • Losing sleep and feeling sadness over “secrets” that they can’t share with someone they love.
  • Being forced to make choices by parents whose own emotional weaknesses cause them to force their children to choose.
  • Being forced to sort out “the truth”, when each parent has their own version of their truth they give to the children.
  • Losing contact with grandparents, nieces and nephews because of parental anger.
  • Missing key information in class because parents disagree about schedules, and weekend changes disrupt routines and patterns.
  • Carrying the emotional burden of parents who share too much of their own emotional baggage with children.

And the list goes on. This is only a sample of the challenges that children must deal with in difficult divorce situations. Healthy families recognize the destructive and hurtful impact of such poor choices on children. They work hard to guard their children from exposure to these types of behaviors. Yet, many children experience parents who do not use good judgment in these situations. It is clear that these are the most predictable situations where children will struggle.

sad_mom_comforting_childWhat Can You Do To Help Your Child?

1. GET RID OF YOUR EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE.

This is the first and most important step that you’ve got to take. If you harbor resentment, if you carry anger and hatred, if you’re frustrated and disappointed, if you are guilt-ridden, or if you carry any other intense emotion related to the divorce, this will get in the way of your judgment.

I don’t know you personally. I simply know from experience and from the research that we have on human emotion, that your judgment will be impaired if you have intense emotions or feelings about your ex.

So the first essential step is to take care of your own garbage.

How might you do this? Here is a partial list:

  • Contact a therapist or Parenting Coach, such as Dr Cale, experienced in working with divorced parents.
  • Begin a journal to write down your thoughts, and do so in handwriting, not on the computer.
  • Find a support group of friends and family members who are not divorced.
  • Attend an educational course on co-parenting after divorce.
  • Find workshops on letting go of your anger after divorce.
  • Go to the library, or to the bookstore, and find books on releasing your feelings following a painful divorce.
  • Begin to meditate, or practice daily relaxation exercises.
  • Run, or exercise regularly.
  • Avoid hiding by using alcohol or drugs.
  • Focus your attention consistently and regularly on what you want, and not what you don’t want.
  • Develop a mantra, an internal saying, that you can repeat to yourself, such as “Be kind and loving.”
  • Limit yourself to ten minutes daily of giving any thought or attention to feelings of anger, frustration, etc.
  • As your children go to bed each night, look deeply into their eyes, and realize that there is a little tiny “note taker” inside their head. This note taker is keeping track and is learning from you about how to handle life’s most difficult challenges. And that note taker, is always taking notes. Then ask yourself “What notes did they take today?”

You can’t give to your kids what you don’t possess. In other words, if you are feeling like life is falling apart at the seams…then YOU GET HELP.

Don’t wait. Don’t delay. Don’t make excuses. Don’t pretend you are feeling okay when you actions say otherwise.

Thus, the first step is to make sure you take care of yourself…so you will be better prepared to make good judgments about your children’s needs.

In the next step, you will learn where to get your real-life after divorce education.

Parenting After Separation & Divorce Part 2

happy_mother_with_daughter2. EDUCATE YOURSELF ABOUT CO-PARENTING AFTER DIVORCE.

By co-parenting after divorce, I am referring specifically to the strategies that have to do with handling children in two households. This includes everything from routines, times-sharing, phone calls, and communications between parents. This is no therapy. The focus is on establishing agreements about how to most effectively handle the children.

You really have three options when it comes to co-parenting.

Best: Convince your ex-partner to work conjointly with you in a co-parenting process. Both of you could meet jointly with a therapist in their office, or you could conduct this type of work by telephone.

In essence, this is a form of parent coaching that is highly driven by practical input. A psychologist that has experience in this area will be able to give firm, direct guidance with regard to the kinds of strategies that are effective and healthy for children in a post-separation world.

By using this type of professional guidance, you will be able to tailor an individualized co-parenting plan that is best for your family.

Better: Attend a course on co-parenting, and take careful notes. Find all of the resources and information possible on co-parenting, and master this information.

5Then convince your ex-partner to co-participate in this type of course. At a minimum, give them materials to read, and then ask them to set times to discuss this information with you.

Set specific times to get together with your ex, and develop a strategy of co-parenting. In many cases, you can do this. Find parents who have been successful at co-parenting, and learn from them. Be cautious of those parents who are consumed with their own anger, and insist that they are the only ones who “know what’s in the kids best interest.” Too often, emotions blind judgment…and such toxic individuals can corrupt your view of how to co-parent effectively.

Dr Cale’s Special Report

3 Toxic Mistakes That Will Threaten Your Children’s Future

divorce
** Please double check for accuracy. Your privacy is SAFE. We will NEVER sell/rent/give away your information.I have authored a co-parenting manual for parents focused exclusively on the issues of co-parenting after divorce. The manual, Terrific Parenting Through Divorce: Keeping Kids First, is a revised version of the manual used in the co-parenting program my partners and I taught for over ten years in the Albany area.This manual is a powerful guide, showing parents the specific ways in which they can buffer their children from the impact of divorce. Not only will the reader gain insight into what factors impact children, but they also will be equipped to develop a co-parenting plan which helps to insulate their children from the debilitating challenges of living in two households.

For many parents, you’ll find that the Terrific Parenting Through Divorce:  Keeping Kids First manual provides a comprehensive blueprint for structuring your own individualized co-parenting arrangement. If you find yourself wanting answers to specific questions, you may want to consult with Dr. Cale by phone [ Contact Dr. Cale ], or find an expert in your area who specializes in divorcing families.

The topics covered include:

  • How parents handle and mishandle divorce.
  • Ways to handle your intense emotions, and resolve pain
  • Strategies for talking to kids
  • Impact of divorce on children.
  • Role of key players, such as grandparents, lawyers, courts.
  • How to stay focused on what you can control.
  • Ways to stay calm and focused during exchanges.
  • Ways to help kids cope with the many changes.
  • How to help children with difficult exchanges.
  • What tools you can offer children.
  • Resources to help you and your children.
  • And more.

Please consider this valuable program, as your satisfaction is guaranteed. If interested, you can order this program here: Click here for Terrific Parenting Through Divorce:  Keeping Kids First.

happy_dad_with_sonGood: Under very difficult circumstances, there are times when the other parent will not communicate with you. Under these circumstances, learn all that you can about co-parenting. Take all the steps that you possibly can to protect your children and implement these consistently and regularly.

In other words, do everything that you can to effectively parent with that part of your children’s lives that you do have control over. Make certain that everything that you do in your home and in the kids’ lives is healthy and beneficial for your children. Again, educate yourself. Consider participating in a divorce education program…even if your ex refuses. Be more focused on what you can control…and begin to put less energy into decisions out of your control.

In this type of situation, you may have little to no control over what your ex is doing. You may have no influence over what your ex says or does with the children. All that you do have control over is what you do in response to what your children present you. That is where you must focus your attention. That is where you must focus your energy. That is where you must become an exquisite parent.

3. BECOME A MASTER AT PARENTING (i.e., understanding how you have influence with your children)

29When you do this, tensions and conflicts are reduced.

What I am referring to are the fundamentals of parenting. I am referring to learning how you have influence over your children’s behavior. I am referring to how you develop a strong and enduring relationship with your children. And I am referring to how you create healthy, responsible children who enjoy being a part of their family.

In essence, this means that you do not leave parenting to chance. You do not rely upon the advice of neighbors or family members. You do not get your input from a newspaper columnist.

Instead, you seek out the best help that’s available, and use it to obtain the tools that it takes to shape your children’s behavior effectively.

If you reviewed the pages on the ” Essential Parenting Home Study Program ” that are available, then you’re probably aware of some of the tools and strategies that are available. You can also get valuable information from other portions of this website that cover specific problems you may be having with your children. You can also get tons of valuable information, including state-of-the-art parenting input, by subscribing to Dr Cale’s free email newsletter, ” Terrific Parenting Newsletter.”

Lastly, it is important to note that difficult situations may require more personalized attention. You may feel that you need face-to-face guidance. If you feel your situation warrants this, seek out an expert in your area. Find a psychologist or therapist with years of experience in this area, as this will greatly reduce your learning curve.

4. AVOID LITIGATION …IF AT ALL POSSIBLE.

Many parents do not appreciate the powerfully disabling impact of toxic litigation on children. During the divorce process, parents can easily get lost focused on the choices of their ex-partners, and lose sight of their choices.

We know that this is something all humans are vulnerable at doing. Under conditions of intense emotion, our energies tend to move toward protection of self and family. When we do so, our focus tends to go toward events out of our control…and we then take less responsibility for decisions that ultimately lead to litigation.

Keep talking. Find a mediator…a good mediator…who will make certain you both to be an active part in the decision making. The research is clearly on the side of your children…when you work things out without prolonged litigation. On the other hand, you put your kids at heightened risk when you engage in extended litigation.

Why? Because…it impacts you…it impacts the quality of communications…it impacts the demands upon kids…it impacts the intensity of parental emotion that kids must now absorb…and the list could go on.

Bottom line:

DO YOUR BEST TO AVOID LITIGATION… AND YOU’LL HAVE MORE ENERGY LEFT FOR YOUR KIDS.

Don’t Forget to get your free report, and 15 co-parenting principles that protect your children.

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Separation and Divorce

Separation and Divorce

Parenting Through Divorce

Parenting Through Divorce

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